~ Panick Attack ~

When I walk down the street alone
I start to panic
When people crowd me in a room
I start to panic
Whenever the noise level reaches a pitch that my ears start to twitch
I go into ~ a panic
If the phone’s ringing and says private number
I began ~ to panic
If my eyes lose sight of a jumping spider
Sure enough, I panic
There’s nothing really left to discuss because in almost everything~ I panic!

In all seriousness, panic attacks are all too real for a lot of people. And whether you’re a victim or know someone who is, it’s not to be taken lightly. Some experience this disorder more than others. Can’t deny that it exists and is occurring to more people than we may know. I have a relative that has admitted that he sometimes experience these panic attacks. And if he wouldn’t have told the family we would’ve never known. Still unsure as to what triggers his patterns which are minimal. Nonetheless, he doesn’t have to go through it alone. His fear of worrying that everyone would think he’s crazy kept him from reaching out. Now he’s glad that he did because support from others is what started his first therapy. Knowing that he won’t be going through it alone. Unless you know someone personally ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover.’ Here are some basic facts that I’ve found and wanted to share them.

“I’m losing control…..”

“I feel like I’m going crazy…..”

“I must be having a heart attack…..”

“I’m smothering and I can’t breathe…..”

“It came upon me by surprise. I began to feel wave after wave of fear and my stomach gave out on me. I could hear my heart pounding so loudly I thought it would come out of my chest. Pains were shooting down my legs. I became so afraid I couldn’t catch my breath. What was happening to me? Was I having a heart attack? Was I dying?”

Panic attacks are very real, very awful, and emotionally debilitating. Many people who experience their first panic attack find themselves at hospital emergency rooms……or at doctors’ offices — prepared to hear the very worst news possible about their health.

When they don’t hear that they’ve had a life-threatening condition (such as a heart attack), this news may actually increase their anxiety and frustration: “…if I am physically OK, what happened to me? I experienced something so dreadful I can’t even explain it. So what’s happening to me?”

If a person with panic goes undiagnosed, they can bounce around from doctor to doctor for years on end without experiencing any relief.  Instead, it becomes more and more frustrating to the panic sufferer as no one is able to pinpoint the problem and provide any kind of help.

Because the symptoms of panic are very real, the anxiety is so traumatizing, and the whole experience is new and strange, a panic attack is one of the worst experiences a person can have.

Common symptoms of panic include:

  • a racing or pounding heartbeat
  • dizziness and lightheadedness
  • feeling that “I can’t catch my breath”
  • chest pains or a “heaviness” in the chest
  • flushes or chills
  • tingling in the hands, feet, legs, arms
  • jumpiness, trembling, twitching muscles
  • sweaty palms, flushed face
  • terror
  • fear of losing control
  • fear of a stroke that will lead to disability
  • fear of dying
  • fear of going crazy

A panic attack typically lasts several long minutes and is one of the most distressing conditions a person can experience. In some cases, panic attacks have been known to last for longer periods of time or to recur very quickly over and over again.

The aftermath of a panic attack is very painful. Feelings of depression and helplessness are usually experienced. The greatest fear is that the panic attack will come back again and again, making life too miserable to bear.

People who experience panic and agoraphobia, are not “crazy” and do not need to be in therapy for extended periods of time. Sessions depend on the severity and length of the problem and the willingness of the client to actively participate in treatment and change.

“I TRUSTED YOU!”

I told you everything that I knew ’cause… I trusted you…
Your eyes were such glee, your knowledge impeccably.
Rift tanned body… Ripped in all the right places.
Spun my head up and around in races.
And I trusted you… Out of the blue… I trusted you!
It was your swag, so, so smooth.
Mesmerized when you walked across the room.
You took my breath away.

Wherever your presence seized the moment.
Cropped a piece of my heart and stabbed the rest.
I stumbled and mumbled, “But I trusted you!”
“How could you? When I trusted you!”
Are you happy now, that you got what you wanted?
Have you moved on to the next one now, that you got what you wanted?
I understand now, that you got what you wanted.
Guess you the man now, since you got what you wanted?

‘We’re only human,’ is the excuse that we normally make only when bad decisions have been made. Nine out of ten, we knew it was wrong beforehand. However, ignored the fact of the of the matter. Overlooking the negative vibes to satisfy that hunger of desire. What looks good ain’t always the case. So, before your next head on race here’s something that’s always important to remember. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and more loved than you will ever know.” And that is trustworthy!

“Crossings”

The day we met was like a crisp clean silhouette.
I had no time for you at the first moment,
But I bet that you thought I was like every other chick
Who followed you around on the straddled fence.
Our crossings caused a night full of passions
that danced its way to a lifetime of romance.
I’m still able to smile at the heartbeat that you gave me
For you saved me and changed me to love once again.
Our crossings made the markings so deep that no one can compare.
Nothing, at no time, here nor there can ever compare.
We are one, you and me.
Our souls have found each other for the purity.
To obtain and maintain a life of solace well gained.
Built up as a shield in times of the struggles. Come what may!
Together, willing and ready to overcome the hurdles.
Our crossings were meant to be.
Others have crossed you and many have crossed me too,
But our crossings divinely stuck like glue.
And that’s how we knew that we knew that we knew.
Without a shadow of a doubt that we are soul mates.
Soul mates from times past,
On the hunt for the only one… and then appeared at last…
We crossed!

” The Fruits of My Labor

 

Time to get up and get going!
A fresh start on my part without even knowing
What to expect but my goals plus planning stands strong and correct
As I make this life that I’m living deserve the upmost respect
What are the fruits of my labor?
Far more than what can be arranged on my dinner table
My mind and heart is filled with charity
That moves my hands and feet in the path of certainty
Such clarity has never been so crystal to me
Ever since I removed myself from the people who strickened me
All things therefore are looking up quite nicely
From what then seemed like my downfall was actually a door leading to my destiny
What be the fruits of my labor?
Being there wherever and whenever in the time of need
Taking care of my people is how I’m planting seeds
One plants, one waters and God gives the increase
For He knows my innermost intentions that be
What are the fruits of my labor?
To be much more than what meets the eye
To the all around city slickers who love the game of spy
They had a good thang before I said, “BYE – BYE.”
The fruits of my labor are always genuine
None whatsoever artificial for the benjamins
For when the harvest is ready it will be sweeter than sweet
Because quality over quantity could never be beat.

(SOLID in SOLITUDE and I won’t apologize…)

 

Creativity

what is creativity to me?
creativity is the ability to be unique. others may have some similarities as you but there’s always that special touch. a spice sprinkled so nice, nobody can bring that to the table but you.
creativity is a gift. a gift in itself wrapped especially for you. we all like gifts. i know that i do. anywho! creativity has an array of volume to it. it speaks and often can relate to its opposite in a beautiful way. for example, to me writing is like being an artist. you have to feel your passions and feel what angles works best for you. writing can be as colorful and as detailed as a painting. paintings are stories anyway. so why not vice versa?
As for me my passions are rhymes but i’m trying an angle on writing novels. bringing out another side of me that i have to dive deep into. but it’s fun and relaxing. creativity to me is just that… enjoyment of something new.

hope that you find and enjoy your creative side that’s designed just for you

“Outstanding Women”

“Pick of The Day”

Faith Ringgold Biography.com
Activist, Painter, Civil Rights Activist, Women’s Rights Activist, Author, Educator(1930–)October 8, (age 86)
EDUCATION/PLACE OF BIRTH
City College of New York ~ New York, New York
BIRTH NAME/ZODIAC SIGN
Faith Willi Jones ~ Libra
Faith Ringgold is an American artist and author who became famous for innovative, quilted narrations like Tar Beach that communicate her political beliefs.

(Synopsis)
Faith Ringgold was born in New York City in 1930. While working as an art teacher in public schools, she began a series of paintings called American People, which portrayed the civil rights movement from a female perspective. In the 1970s, she created African-style masks, painted political posters and actively sought the racial integration of the New York art world. During the 1980s, she began a series of quilts that are among her best-known works, and she later embarked on a successful career as a children’s book author and illustrator.

(Renaissance)
Faith Ringgold was born Faith Will Jones was born on October 8, 1930, in the Harlem neighborhood of New York City. She was the youngest of three children born to Andrew and Willi Jones, who raised their children during the Harlem Renaissance and exposed them to all of its cultural offerings. As she suffered from asthma as a young girl, Ringgold spent a great deal of time at home with her mother, a fashion designer who taught her to sew and work creatively with fabrics.

Throughout her grammar and high school years, Ringgold also developed an interest in art, and by the time she graduated became intent on turning her interest into a career. Enrolling at the City College of New York in 1950, she wound up studying art education when the liberal arts department denied her application. That same year, she married musician Robert Wallace. In 1952, they had two daughters, one born in January and one born in December. Faith and Robert would divorce several years later, when he developed a heroin addiction that would eventually lead to his death.

(American People)
After receiving her B.S. in Fine Art and Education in 1955, Faith spent the latter half of the decade juggling several different roles. While looking after her children, she taught art in the public school system and also enrolled in a graduate studies program at City College. Ringgold began developing her own art, which at this time was fairly conventional. Faith received her M.A. in art in 1959 and later toured Europe, visiting many of its finest museums.

The early 1960s would prove to be a pivotal period for Faith. She married Burdette Ringgold on May 19, 1962 and also embarked on creating a series of paintings—American People—that today rank among her most important work. Centered around themes from the civil rights movement, paintings such as Neighbors, Die and The Flag Is Bleeding all capture the racial tensions of the era. Ringgold’s first solo gallery show in 1967 featured the American People series.

(New Directions)
Early into the 1970s, Ringgold’s art took a new direction. She was deeply affected by her visit the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam and its collection of Tibetan thangka paintings in particular. Upon returning to New York, Ringgold began to incorporate similar elements in her work, painting with acrylic on canvases with fabric borders and creating cloth dolls and soft sculptures, including Wilt, which depicted basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain.

After leaving her teaching job in 1973, Ringgold was free to focus on her art more. She began to pursue working in other mediums. She first branched out with a collection of portrait sculptures called The Harlem Series and then she created African-influenced masks that were included in performance pieces. During this period she also made posters in support of the Black Panthers and activist Angela Davis.

(Telling Stories)
After attempting unsuccessfully to have her autobiography published, at the turn of the decade Ringgold discovered a new way to tell her story. Once more drawing her inspiration from Tibetan art, and in honor of her mother’s early influence, Ringgold began a series of quilts that are perhaps her best-known work. She assembled the first quilt, Echoes of Harlem in 1980 (a year before her mother passed away) and went on to make numerous others, eventually incorporating text as well. Among her narrative quilts are Who’s Afraid of Aunt Jemima (1983), the Michael Jackson tribute Who’s Bad? (1988) and her most famous offering, Tar Beach (Part 1 from the Woman on the Bridge series (1988), which is now part the Guggenheim Museum’s permanent collection.

Meanwhile, Ringgold had become a professor of art at the University of California at San Diego, where she taught until 2002. Displaying yet more talent, beginning in the 1990s, Ringgold embarked on a literary career, publishing the children’s book Tar Beach, which she adapted from her quilt of the same namw in 1991. In 1995, she published her memoir, We Flew over the Bridge; she has now written and illustrated more than 15 other children’s books.

In recognition of her contributions as an artist and activist, Ringgold has received countless honors, including a National Endowment for the Arts Award, a Guggenheim Fellowship for painting and an NAACP Image Award. Her work continues to be exhibited in major museums around the world.

“Being On The Flip Side”

Thought that I’d share a little humor in which I call it, ‘Being on the Flip Side.’ Because there are 2 ways of looking at the same thing. See if you can read in between the lines.

He was…
He was the pillar of my eye…
I needed something soft to lay on.
He was as sweet as apple pie…
MMM, Didn’t know he had it in’em.
He was my go to guy…
Yeah, take me here and take me there.
He was my everything…
And he fell for it too.

She Was…
She was like the woman I never had…
End of that story.
She was the brains in her family…
Yeah, psychotic! No, really, she was, and is, and always will be to me. You’ll see!
She was picture perfect…
Oh, I had the picture turned upside down.
She was one of my ninety nine problems…
That’s because she had them all rolled up into one.

Call It What You Will.

I call it my tranquility, my perfect peace. How many people have that special place to go to? My Mood:💚 The Color Green…the color of life, renewal, nature, and energy. Which is associated with meanings of growth, harmony, freshness, safety, fertility, and environment.

One time or another, there have been some people within our circle that were bent on destroying that lush green of serene atmosphere. But strength and determination to remain at peace are just some of the keys to maintaining focus. And focus is what is needed in life to get through any ordeal.

It maybe hard to let some people go, or NOT. Depending on the relations in general for each individual. But regardless of who they are and what positions they hold within your life. The question one has to consider is, ‘Are they helping or hurting?’ And anyone that’s not helping you to do better and feel better are only made to bring you down. As the saying goes, ‘Misery loves company.’

So, on a good note: “For all those that have to be tossed to the side, put away and forgotten about; have only made room in our lives for the ones that are meant to be a part of it. Positive soul energies working together with the mindset to rise and soar for more, fore better, for nothing less.”

Babylon

After hearing a lecture on the matter of the self and how Allah allowed our own evil from within to be manifested in form of flesh. It struck a nerve. Basically God allowed us to see us for who we really are and to use that to draw us towards Him in truth and sincerity. From which still some will refuse to do so as they are and will be drawn more so to their lower selves. Desires of the flesh, the easy way out shall be the hardest way into the afterlife, the after abode of where one is to spend eternity.
Judgement Day shall arise. Whenever our Creator says it’s time. There will be no going back, there will be no time to say sorry, forgive me, let me try again, etc. No, the call will be given to the angles and to death. People aren’t focused on prophecy as they should be. Why? Because the business and lifestyle of the world has taken them for a ride. It has their mind flipped on the other side to where they can’t see nor concentrate on the realities that stand right in front of them. But spiritual blindness and deafness overtakes and overshadows most people.
Shaitan has most right where he wants them. In the palm of his hands to be manipulated, confused, busy bodies, dead to the world with alcohol (spirits) and drugs that keeps the mind illusioned. Which slowly yet rapidly kills the body. Keeping family, trials, health, work, religions, debates, politics, entertainments and enemies all to be at war with the self. In order to keep the lower self preoccupied with less chance of focussing on the higher self of the god within.
Of course, we can’t be as monks all day and night. As some have the privilege to be and do. However, living in the west, in the city, in the belly of the beast where the only peace one can acquire is in the home. Is in the meditation of prayer times and reading/studying the Holy Books. Mankind has 24 hours in a day. A day which is a thousand years and a thousand years is a day. Mind boggling! Ultimately meaning that we don’t have time to play around. Get what we need educationally and spiritually. Get where we need to go in the same. Encourage and assist others to get on board before they get left behind.
Use the enemies technological attack methods in our favor to help awaken others from their sleep, their hibernation. Use letter writing mainly before it becomes a thing of the past as everything else been washed away. We’re living in the digital new age system. (The Whore of Babylon) Babylon the Great is a female figure and also place of evil, mentioned in the Bible Book of Revelation. Her full title is given as “Babylon the Great, the Mother of Prostitutes and Abominations of the Earth.” (chapters 17 and 18)
The Whore is associated with the Antichrist and the Beast of Revelation by connection with an equally evil kingdom. (The word “Whore” can also be translated metaphorically as “Idolatress”). The Whore’s apocalyptic downfall is prophesied to take place in the hands of the image of the beast with seven heads and ten horns.
In the book of Jeremiah 50: 14-16 says, “Put yourselves in array against Babylon all around, All you who bend the bow; Shoot at her, spare no arrows, For she has sinned against the Lord. 15 Shout against her all around; She has given her hand, Her foundations have fallen, Her walls are thrown down; For it is the vengeance of the Lord. Take vengeance on her. As she has done, so do to her. 16 Cut off the sower from Babylon, And him who handles the sickle at harvest time. For fear of the oppressing sword Everyone shall turn to his own people, And everyone shall flee to his own land.
(vv. 22 b-32) A sound of battle is in the land, And of great destruction. 23 How the hammer of the whole earth has been cut apart and broken! How Babylon has become a desolation among the nations! 24 I have laid a snare for you; You have indeed been trapped, O Babylon, And you were not aware; You have been found and also caught, Because you have contended against the Lord. 25 The Lord has opened His armory, And has brought out the weapons of His indignation; For this is the work of the Lord God of hosts In the land of the Chaldeans. 26 Come against her from the farthest border; Open her storehouses; Cast her up as heaps of ruins, And destroy her utterly; Let nothing of her be left.
27 Slay all her bulls, Let them go down to the slaughter. Woe to them! For their day has come, the time of their punishment. 28 The voice of those who flee and escape from the land of Babylon Declares in Zion the vengeance of the Lord our God, The vengeance of His temple. 29 “Call together the archers against Babylon. All you who bend the bow, encamp against it all around; Let none of them escape.[c] Repay her according to her work; According to all she has done, do to her; For she has been proud against the Lord, Against the Holy One of Israel. 30 Therefore her young men shall fall in the streets, And all her men of war shall be cut off in that day,” says the Lord.
31 “Behold, I am against you, O most haughty one!” says the Lord God of hosts; “For your day has come, The time that I will punish you.[d] 32 The most proud shall stumble and fall, And no one will raise him up; I will kindle a fire in his cities, And it will devour all around him.” These words were written centuries ago. But they hold the same weight today as did then. Because of the same foul stench that wreaks havoc from the United Snakes of America and other powers around the world.
However, the U.S. being the Great Harlot while the other powers flock to her. They sleep with her and fornicate with her. They get drunk with her and murder with her. The super powers of the world are done for in due time. Time that is fastly approaching. Once again referring to the day being a thousand years and a thousand years being a day. Here’s more of the prophecy to be fulfilled in explanation from the Bible book of Revelation 18: 1-8, (NKJV)
The Fall of Babylon the Great
18 After these things I saw another angel coming down from heaven, having great authority, and the earth was illuminated with his glory. 2 And he cried mightily with a loud voice, saying, “Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and has become a dwelling place of demons, a prison for every foul spirit, and a cage for every unclean and hated bird! 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.”
4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you, and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’ 8 Therefore her plagues will come in one day—death and mourning and famine. And she will be utterly burned with fire, for strong is the Lord God who judges her.”

Why I started this Blog?

I believe that I have a voice and thoughts to share. I have always put my voice on paper (i.e. diaries/ personal journal). However, I never thought to share who I am or what I’m thinking about to others outside the close family links. My dream is to become a writer and allow the God-given talents within me to flourish. I’m currently writing a couple of books. The first one is entitled: Roads of Passage. Short stories created on the basis of those who lead a wandering or unsettled life. Which is the overall theme.

A lot of times when we’re going through hardships, especially if they’re Back2Back, we may feel lost, or like we’re going in circles. Somewhat like your trials are never-ending. But in reality that road you’re on is leading  you somewhere. The book is designed as a fictional novel. The second book is entitled: Poetry Is Me. A place where I spill over my artistic side in a special kind of way. Some of those I will share here and would like all feedback on what you think. This is part of my experience to opening up my views and creative writing to others on a much broader scale. Hopefully, this blog will help me to succeed with these ideas I have planned.